


Scream Blue Murder

by Background_Character



Series: "I call arson a career!" [6]
Category: Kingdom Hearts, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: A+ Parenting, All For One being a nonchalant dude, Alternate Universe, Anti-Hero, Crack, Dialogue-Only, Gen, Heroes to Villains, Keyblades (Kingdom Hearts), Screw Destiny, Sensei | All For One is Midoriya Hisashi, Snapshots, This Is STUPID, Villains to Heroes, wth is this bullshit set of tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-18 23:57:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16129337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Background_Character/pseuds/Background_Character
Summary: Undoubtedly, Hisashi thinks the Universe is dumb for making him a protector of the Light and granting him the power to bring balance to the world.He tries to make it work.(Or in which All For One (the Quirk) was meant for greater purposes other than villainous but All For One (the person) doesn't give two sticks about Kingdom Hearts.)





	Scream Blue Murder

_"Power sleeps within you. If you give it form, it will give you strength. Choose well."_

"If I pick this up, can I go back to bed?"

_"The power of the mystic. Inner strength. A staff of wonder and ruin... Is this the power you seek?"_

"Magic is everything, according to RPG standards of today. I'll take it."

_"Your path is set. Now, what will you give up in exchange?"_

"Another one?!"

_"The power of the warrior. Invincible courage. A sword of terrible destruction... You give up this power?"_

"Swords are still illegal to carry around in this country."

_"You've chosen the power of the mystic. You've given up the power of the warrior. Is this the form you choose?"_

"Whatever."

 

•

 

"What the hell is this."

"Hisashi, go back to bed."

"No, Mother, I won't. Not until I figure out how in tarnation this key—shoot, that's sharp—okay, this exaggerated knife... thingumabob came to be in my possession. That disembodied voice made no mention of it while I was... What was I doing again?"

"Can't this wait? It's only two o'clock."

"I'm calling it a Keyblade."

"Good for you. Now let me sleep."

 

•

 

_"What are you afraid of?"_

"Not much. I guess."

_"What do you want outta life?"_

"Fixing your grammar and hair, as of current. It's simply atrocious. Aren't you supposed to be older than me?"

_"What's most important to you?"_

"Oh, finally. An actual question that serves its purpose no matter the situation. Well, firstly, my little brother is important. Have you seen him? Just looking at him blinds my eyes, so why wasn't he made a Keyblade wielder? You can sacrifice him to whatever cult of a higher power you're obviously trying to bait me into. Stop giving me the stink eye, lady, can't you see I'm answering your question? No? Too bad. Now where was I? Right. Things important to me. I guess balance is a close second. On the news, the reporters keep losing their marbles over the next step of human evolution and I've been trying to convince some old windbags that they're wrong to imprison people who have become our superiors but no one's listening. They think I'm crazy. Which may or may not be correct but I really can't stand the fact that society has taken a new low that even blood relatives are disowning each other left and right over these 'Quirk' things. It's a waste of time... Humans could be doing so much better things. Like finding a resolution to that hunger problem we've been trying to solve since the dawn of time, or even interstellar travel. If people are so worried about how Quirks will affect their lives, shouldn't they want to get off this planet as soon as possible? But then again, the only thing stopping them from doing so is the lack of necessary resources and the amount of money needed. We'll probably be stuck on this hunk of rock for a very long time, in that case... Are you even listening? Yes? No? Make up your mind, lady. You asked what's most important to me—you'll need to learn patience some day. Haven't you heard? Some dude who went to space in a cartoon and died twice—no, actually, only once—said patience yields focus, which means I'm going to keep on talking until I know you know what's important to me off by heart. Do you understand? Yes? I'm glad we could come to an agreement. As I was saying..."

 

•

 

"Brother, what is that."

"A Keyblade or something."

"A whatnow?"

"It can unlock anything."

"Okay...? How is that relevant to anything."

"I found Father's, _ahem_ , 'prized collection', as a result."

"Oh... Brother... I'm so sorry."

"No, it's alright, one way or another, I would've found while in the process of finding a way to kill him."

"Why—you know what? I don't think I wanna know. You could set the world on fire for all I care and Dad would probably still be alive, somehow. I blame his recent fascination for Sunday morning infomercials if that will happen to be the case. Have fun."

"Thank you."

 

•

 

"Geez, that's creepy. A pink heart floating into the sky to god knows where? That's a recipe for disaster if I knew any to compare."

_"You did well for your first confrontation."_

"... Is that creature, in a manner of speaking, supposed to exist?"

_"It is called a Heartless. And, secondly, yes, it exists to keep balance to the worlds. It is your duty to make sure they do not prey on the hearts of those susceptible to depravity."_

"I'm only a kid. How am I supposed to convince criminals to not commit crime?"

_"We have an idea."_

"Who's 'we'?"

_"Sleep now, child."_

...

"Lady, giving me a Quirk was most definitely not part of our agreement."

_"It's not a Quirk, as you might think it is."_

"Then what's it supposed to be? Because I'm pretty sure stealing something that shouldn't be able to be stolen constitutes as a Quirk."

_"It's magic."_

"Magic."

_"Yes."_

"Are you kidding me? I know I said magic is everything and whatever, but that was a joke, I'm starting to doubt those very words."

_"No. I would never make lightly of such a power, but what you decide to do with it will ultimately carve your destiny."_

"So within reason, it's not a stretch to think that what can be taken also can be given."

_"I see you're finally beginning to understand your role."_

"But what _should_ I do?"

_"All to restore balance; any action you see fit can be taken. The choice is yours, young light."_

"Lady, you acting kind is creepy. And don't call me 'young light'. I could be the beginnings of darkness if you squint hard enough."

 

•

 

"I said you _could_ set the world on fire, Brother. I didn't actually mean for you to go through with it."

"Huh, really? Well, that's too bad. For once, you can blame the Universe."

"What are you going on about now?"

"Have a Quirk."

"Brother, what are you—ARRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!"

"Be glad I'm not sacrificing you to Kingdom Hearts like some old coot tried to do to other people ages ago. Fun fact: his plans were foiled by mere children. More than twice."

 

* * *

 

"I'm old."

"Sir?"

"Kurogiri, hold my beer. It's time to smash."

"Smash who—"

"All Might."

"Right."

"He pisses me off."

"Um..."

"He reminds of my brother. It's like the light is shoved so far up his ass that he practically radiates it from his mouth whenever he smiles."

"Sir, who is All Might."

"Right. Too early to talk. Give me back my beer."

"No."

"Kurogiri."

"You're going to die from liver failure if you keep this up."

"If Xehanort can apparently live forever, only on sheer will and his unquenchable thirst for Kingdom Hearts, then so can I. But in my case, with alcohol and morals by my side."

"Who's—"

"Don't ask. Trust me, you don't want to know."

 

•

 

"This child is my son, you say?"

"Yes! That's what I've been trying to explain for the last four hours!"

"He doesn't look like me."

"Genetics."

"But if he takes after you, then who's to say someone one else is the sire."

"Hisashi, that's why we're at the doctors right now."

"Does this mean we have to get married if the results are positive?"

"The world of adults life does not revolve around the linear tale of 'get married and have kids'. I can take care of Izuku myself."

"How cute, you named him after me."

"What—"

"The kanji, Inko, dear. I personally think your choices should've been wiser, because look... it can be read as Deku."

"Shit."

"Don't cry. We all make mistakes."

"But how will I tell him it was an honest mistake?"

"Rule number one of lying to a child: don't insinuate a lie exists in the first place. Pretend nothing is wrong with his name and all will be fine."

"What about his peers."

"Well I doubt all of them could understand, maybe only one really would."

"This... this is just heartbreaking."

"Well, maybe you could've told me before you filled out the paperwork."

"Asshole."

"You know you love me."

 

•

 

"Can I take your family name?"

"Why ask?"

"My family and I are... currently estranged. I don't think it would fare well for them or I if they pulled up the family register and noticed the additional two names."

"Good point."

 

•

 

"Hey, Lady, I know it's been years since we last talked, but is a Keyblade inheritable?"

_"Given the right circumstances, it can be. However, on this world, it should be noted, there are hearts far and few in between many truly worthy of wielding their own."_

"That makes a lot of sense now."

_"Does something trouble you?"_

"No, everything's fine. It's just..."

_"What?"_

"You said there are few people capable of inheriting, and even using, a Keyblade... but those people... Would you be implying the Quirkless? Just as a theory, of course, which would mean those with Quirks are... more neutral or inclined to the darkness."

_"Mayhaps. However, since you are the first of this world, to bear a mark of worthiness, we cannot be sure."_

"My son, I'm sure you know of him, with your permission would it possible for me to test this? He has no Quirk to call his own, a fact which I have confirmed myself."

_"Young light, time and time again, I have said it matter not what you do—any and all choices can be right or wrong."_

"Up to interpretation then. Okay. I can do that."

...

"Son, this is a hope incarnate. With it may you be able to quell the masses and prevail in whatever you pursue."

"Really?"

"No. That was a joke. Get your mother to call me in a decade or so and we'll see if you have the potential."

 

* * *

 

"I was right."

_"We never doubted."_

"But in the begining, you did. Somewhat. You doubted All Might would be strong enough to overcome my inner light."

_"Matter not, does it now. What will you do in this prison? Rot away?"_

"If one of my lackeys manages to almost kill Izuku, we'll find out. The Keyblade should protect him well."

_"You are a terrible father."_

"Hear it once, hear it twice, you get used to it after a thousand times."

 

**Author's Note:**

> There's no excuse for this.
> 
> I just thought of the idea and ran with it.


End file.
